Weddings by Christina
Ceremony Officiate & Celebrant

The Number One Suggestion Is Mention The Children In The Ceremony As Often As
You Can.

I think it is much more important that children hear their names mentioned in the ceremony,
than it is that they play any major part of the ceremony. (There will be exceptions to this so
clear it ahead of time with the shy ones). Mentioning a child's name during the wedding
assures that they are an important part of the occasion and have special status which guests
and other family members attending do not. At this special time children need to feel
important to their parents.

Remember with this ceremony a new family is being born. This is especially important to
young ones. When children are coming into the marriage, it is appropriate to mention in the
ceremony that not only is a marriage being formed, but also a family - and then we name
each child. If a prayer is in the ceremony, each child's name can be stated in the prayer.

Watch Out For The "I Feel Rejected" Syndrome Immediately After The Ceremony.

Where children tend to feel left out is immediately after the ceremony. The bride and groom
walk away and are crowded by "big people" - with the children left out of the immediate post
ceremony celebration. Remember, most children do not know what they are supposed to do
after the ceremony ends. This is easily avoided. The couple should simply take a moment to
hug their child/children, thank them for helping in the ceremony, and then telling them they
are free to play etc. This time of quality recognition is very important.

Surprise! Once in a while children will not share your sense of excitement about the
wedding.

Often, to the child it can seem more a party occasion. Usually, giving children major roles in
the ceremony quickly becomes a duty rather than a delight. It is generally best to give a child
only one active role and also to be mentioned in the ceremony, rather than to actively involve
a child at too many different points throughout the ceremony. With teenagers, some care
should be taken not to give them roles they may feel silly doing.

Keep It Simple.

For younger children, usually the simple task of holding the rings or bouquet is enough to
accomplish a sense of participation. For teenagers, the role may be as simple as standing up
with the couple, playing the CD or tape of wedding music, or even just taking pictures of the
ceremony with a one time camera. In short try to find a non ceremony role for the child.
Often if presenting roses are a part of the ceremony the couple will have a rose for each of
the children. After exchanging roses, the couple will then give each child a rose, a hug, and
whisper "I love you." Typically, couples may give children a gift right after they exchange
their own rings and vows - usually a necklace, medallion, or ring - along with a hug and an "I
love you." Use the family unity candle. As we all know children are fascinated with candles
and involving them in the is an excellent involvement means. This can be done many ways. If
the children are small the bride and groom light small candles for each of the children - and
then they light the center candle together. If the children are older each child can have a
candle to light. Then all light the centre candle together.

Flower Girls And Ring Bearers

Generally speaking, flower girls and ring bearers are between three and seven years of age.
Of course, the younger they are, the more unpredictable their behavior will be. If the child is
old enough to walk up the aisle and be relatively well behaved throughout what will appear to
him to be a relatively long time, then he's old enough. It really depends on the personality of
the child.

The Older Children

Older Children eager to participate in the wedding ceremony can be bridesmaids and ushers
as well as honor attendants (the new unisex term for the maid of honor and best man); the
roles they can play are no longer limited.. An eleven-year-old son can be a best man. A
nine-year-old girl can be a maid of honor. A bride's son can be her "honor attendant," as a
groom's daughter can be his. A bride's son, daughter, or both can escort her up the aisle and
"give her away." You may even choose to have your wedding party made up entirely of your
own children.

The possibilities are endless! Use your imagination and ask for your children's ideas.
Involving Children In The Wedding Ceremony